Hanging in there

Family and friends- Thank you so much for your supportive emails and calls. Your words of love are helping us keep our heads up.
Besides Ethan coming down with the flu on Monday, this week has been better than the last few. This is the first week in 2 months that I haven't visited the doctor or the hospital. My medications are working to prevent me from vomiting, and this has allowed me to increase my fluid intake and gain some confidence. Though the side effects of the drugs keep me horizontal and sleepy, it's better to be sleepy than sick. The drugs are: Zofran, Benadryl, and Ranitidine, each taken every 5 hours. I've been on the Zofran for 5 weeks, but I'm now on 4 times the dose I started with originally.
My diet is a has been a challenge, but I've finally found a handful of foods/drinks that my body will accept. It's a very bland diet based on the BRAT diet. Nick has coined my diet "unique but bland" becuase those were my only directions for him before his last adventure to the grocery store.
Here is my daily menu:
-Ensure or Boost drinks (Grandma Rooney and I both agree chocolate Boost is the best). These are packed full of calories and vitamins. Vitamins taken in a pill form make me vomit so I have to make sure I get all my vitamins thru fortified foods instead.
-Gatorade or Propel
-Total Raisin Bran (with a small amount of milk)
-Toast (on a good day I can have jelly on my toast!)
-Chicken noodle soups
-Baked or mashed potatoes
-Apples or applesauce
-Plain egg-o waffles

That's it. It's boring and limited, but I'm not going to complain though becuase it's working.

Rock Bottom Replay

Bre: It's Friday morning and I'm back at home in bed after spending the week in the hospital again. It's been another very challenging week. On Monday morning DonnaRae (Nick's mom) rushed me to the ER at 8am.
Wait...First let me tell you that everyone has been extremely helpful at coordinating these emergencies when they arise. My mom had Ethan (as she has been taking him every Monday and Tuesday for 5 weeks now, and DonnaRae has him on Wed. and Thursdays). The mom who is without Ethan is usually at my side. This way Nick can go on working knowing that our parents are taking care of us.
So, on Monday morning I was back at Methodist Hospital after another night of non-stop vomiting and severe dehydration. They know me pretty well on the 4th floor now. The nurse I had last week was there and worried to see me back again. Once in my room (private room this time! for VIPs) I was already aware of the drill- Gown on, IV hooked up at 150ml/hour, and IV drugs administered (becuase anything put into my mouth will come right back up). Last week I was here the vomiting stopped right away with the IV and the drugs, but not this time. Monday night was just as bad as the night before. Nick stayed at the hospital that night as we both were very concerned. I hadn't stopped vomiting in 40hours. I was very weak, shaking and almost to the point of passing out. They gave me drugs to help me sleep. Tuesday was better and I was able to keep down ice chips and plain toast by the end of the day. The rest of the week I was showing improvement daily and able to eat a little and keep my medication in by mouth.
Now, I'm home. Most people would think it would be great to be home...it's not. Truthfully, I'm very scared to be at home. I'm afraid of another episode. I start to panic with the slightest bit of nausea in fear that I'll be set back again. Each time I have an episode I'm not only back to the beginning I am set back even further (emotionally and physically) every time. I've lost 6lbs now, and I'm 11 weeks pregnant. That's just not right. My dad gave me a book on meditation to help me calm down and relax when I start to feel any pain. I'll start that today.
On a happy note, I had another ultrasound on Wednesday to boost my spirits and the babes are doing great! The heart rates were 165 and 169. They are right on track for 11 weeks and we even saw 20 fingers and 20 toes!!! The detail on the screen was amazing. We could see their healthy little umbilical cords and everything. They were very active too- doing jumping jacks and twirling around! I may not be doing well but it's wonderful to see that they are thriving.
Hopefully, next time I write it will be with a happier, healthy mind and body.

Rock Bottom...

Bre: Hands down- this has been the hardest week of my life. I didn't think it was possible for my physical and mental health to hit this all-time low while pregnant. I've been sick for 5-6 weeks now, and on disability leave from work for 3 weeks. On Monday night I was vomiting hourly and could not keep even a sip of water in my body. Tuesday morning we went to the doctor and they placed another IV (which was one of the last available veins in my arms) and started fluids immediately. I was down 5lbs by then and my blood pressure was much higher when standing because my blood was lacking water. They called over to the hospital and had me admitted by that afternoon. Once at the hospital, they started me on 4 different medications and found a vein in my hand from which to draw more blood. Miraculously the fluids and the drugs were working to keep a small amount of food and water in my body on Tuesday and Wednesday.
On Wednesday at 8pm they discharged me from the hospital because I was showing progress. That night however, we were back to the drawing board. I woke up for my 3am meds and by 3:10am I was vomiting everything back up again. What the !@&*!(#^!^$?!?!!? Now, in tears and feeling absolutely helpless....well, I've been in tears daily for weeks but this was the breaking point. What was my body doing to me? At this point I just went back to sleep, physically and mentally exhasted. On Thursday the doctor told us to go back to the hospital if the vomiting continued. After the 3am episode I stopped taking all the medication because I didn't feel they were helping. The drugs were making me extremely drowsy and dizzy which wasn't helping the nasea. Depression hit hard on Thursday as I didn't want to go back to the hospital. I wanted to stay in the comfort of my own home and have my family there for me. However, they were all very worried about my condition. How could it get this bad? I've had what people would classify as the "flu", severe flu-like symptoms, for about 34 days. Who the hell can survive a 34-day flu? Think about how horrible it is to have the flu for 2 days.
Ok, so my mental state is not back to normal, as I'm very sad one moment and pissed-off the next, but at least I've stopped puking. I'm planted back on the couch instead of the bed, still off my meds and not vomiting as of Saturday afternoon. So, today is a decent day. I'm 10 weeks pregnant and they say I should feel a little better in the next 2 weeks.
Just 14 days and counting....

More Ultrasound Pictures

On 8/7/07 we went in for another check-up and ultrasound. The twins sure are growing! Their sacs are closer together now. Their heartbeats are 150 and 155 bpm, so Nick thinks they are the same sex. :) Typically, you can guess the sex by the heartbeat- girls have faster heart beats than boys in uetero.

We knew from the first ultrasound that they are fraternal twins (2 sacs, 2 placentas).

Ultrasound Pictures!

This is the 7 week Ultrasound on 7/25/07, when we discovered TWINS!

Notice the words "oh my god!!!!" at the bottom of the picture. Those were the only words I could say over and over again.

Our first blog!

Bre: Today is Friday August 10th and I am almost 9 weeks pregnant with TWINS! I've been held captive in the house for about 4 weeks now due to severe sickness, or "hyperemesis". This blog is our way of talking to the outside world.
Let us look back a month. The EPT gave us exciting news on 7/7/07, just before Ethan's 3rd birthday! I was feeling normal at that point and Ethan had a perfect birthday. It wasn't until the following weekend that the "morning sickness" reared it's ugly head 24/7. The three of us walked around the neighborhood and made our way down to Lake Harriet for a lovely ride on the Linden Hills Trolley just a few blocks from our house. The queeziness suprised me on the walk but I tried to ignore it. The feeling worsened once we were on the trolley. Suddenly, to my suprise, the trolley came to a dead-end. What now?...oh no! We had to travel backwards! Somehow I managed to hold everything in until we stopped, at which point I pushed and shoved little children to the side in order to make it to the nearest bush.
And that feeling has been with me for 4 weeks now. I've been to the hospital many times- IV fluids, drugs, and a variety of check-ups. We've had 2 ultrasounds now and the babies look healthy and are growing quickly...even though I've lost 3 lbs. My body can't handle all these hormones! "Just a few more weeks of vomiting" is all they keep saying. I've been off work and stuck on the couch for far too long. It's probably not mentally healthy for me to watch 4 episodes of "Baby Story" on TLC every day. Meanwhile, Nick is the champ of the world (I'm not talking about great sperm). He's been doing all the cooking, cleaning and child care along with running a couple businesses.
Hopefully I will start feeling better before the MN State Fair. Just put me in a wheelchair and give me everything on a stick! That's my goal.